In this candid and deeply personal interview, Fru Lederer, a sex-work advocate, speaks with Loulou Lamour, a trans sex worker who shares her 15-year industry journey navigating identity, independence, and intimacy in Germany’s major cities. From overcoming prejudice to building a proud and fulfilling career in sex work, she offers honest reflections on love, resilience, and the ongoing fight for acceptance.
Loulou Lamour, courtesy of the author.
Fruszina Lederer (FL): Hi Loulou. To start, could you tell us how you got into sex work, and what motivated you?
Loulou Lamour (LL): I get asked this question all the time—how I got started! During my studies in Berlin, I was faced with the challenge of financing my life as a student. Since I had already worked for a few years before, it was important for me to find a job that could fit flexibly into my academic schedule and allow me to manage my free time independently. A dear friend of mine, who is also transgender, introduced me to the possibility of sex work.
For me, the decision to enter sex work was closely tied to my gender transition. I saw it as an opportunity to actively shape my transition and further develop my identity as a woman. The experiences I gained through sex work greatly helped me gain confidence in myself as a woman and strengthen my relationship with my body.
Another significant aspect – one that shouldn’t be underestimated – was the financial component. The costs of medical procedures related to transition, such as breast augmentation or other surgeries, are substantial. Through my work in sex work, I was able to afford these important steps in my physical transition. Without this source of income, it would have been much more difficult—or even impossible—for me to carry out these changes the way I had envisioned.
For all these reasons, I look back on my time in sex work with great gratitude. It not only gave me financial independence but was also an important part of my personal growth and development as a woman. This work played a major role in allowing me to live the life I had always dreamed of.
That’s why I owe so much to sex work! Because sex work is real work!
FL: You live and work in both Berlin and Frankfurt. How do the two cities differ in terms of their LGBTQ+ and sex work scenes?
LL: That’s a really interesting question! It’s actually quite remarkable how these two major urban centres centres in Germany – Berlin and Frankfurt am Main – show a surprising similarity in their international orientation. Both cities attract a significant number of Europeans and international people, whether as tourists, business travelers, or new residents. This strong presence of international visitors greatly shapes the cultural diversity and urban life in both metropolises.
This international flair is also clearly reflected in the vibrant and diverse queer communities that are prominent in both cities. The openness and acceptance toward different sexual orientations and gender identities are palpable and create spaces where queer people can feel comfortable. Accordingly, the bar and nightlife scenes in both Berlin and Frankfurt am Main are varied and welcoming. There’s a wide range of venues tailored to the needs and preferences of queer individuals, including trans and intersex people. These places offer not only entertainment but also important social gathering spots and community networks.
Over time, I’ve built a solid and supportive circle of friends in both cities. It’s wonderful to be able to operate in such a dynamic and diverse environment – both professionally and personally. As someone who loves city life, I really appreciate the vibrant energy, constant motion, and wide array of opportunities that urban living brings. The energy and ever-changing nature of these cities are incredibly stimulating for me.
The strong presence of sex workers in Berlin and Frankfurt is also a result of these cities’ appeal to large numbers of tourists, international guests, and, of course, locals. Both cities are dynamic economic and cultural hubs with a high turnover of people. This creates a corresponding demand for sexual services. The well-organized and diverse queer scenes in both cities also help make them attractive places for sex workers to settle and work. All in all, queer life in Berlin and Frankfurt is exceptionally well-developed and well-organiszed, making both cities attractive destinations for queer people from all over the world.
FL: What personal challenges have you faced as a trans sex worker, and how do you deal with them?
LL: Here I can speak directly from my own experiences! Sex work presents itself as a self-employed profession, strongly shaped by individual demand, making it a kind of “on-call work.” This means that work often begins when a client gets in touch seeking a personal appointment. Scheduling is usually flexible and often very spontaneous to accommodate the client’s needs. As a result, part of my time as a sex worker involves waiting for potential client inquiries. The actual work phase begins when the client arrives and the agreed service is provided. This process is comparable to handling small, clearly defined tasks or projects.
The periods between client appointments give me the opportunity to structure my day freely and use the time for various activities – whether administrative work, personal interests, or simply rest. At the same time, this structure can involve phases where a high number of appointments need to be coordinated and kept, making the job quite intense and sometimes stressful.
An essential skill in this profession is the ability to efficiently structure your day, set priorities, and manage client interactions professionally and smoothly. You also develop strong organiszational skills, since the often short-notice and unpredictable nature of appointments requires a high level of flexibility and a kind of permanent availability, similar to being on call.
Despite these organiszational challenges and the physical and emotional demands, I find sex work genuinely enjoyable and fulfilling. Sex work simply brings joy and fun.
FL: What would you say to people who still have prejudices against trans sex workers?
LL: Society as a whole – including the experiences and perspectives of trans and intersex people – is marked by remarkable complexity and diversity. This inherent diversity is a fundamental and highly valuable element for the functioning and progressive development of any society. The uniqueness of each individual, with their own experiences, backgrounds, and perspectives, makes social interaction dynamic, exciting, and ultimately enriching.
Personally, I’m deeply grateful to live in Germany, a country whose legal and social framework fundamentally allows each person to live according to their beliefs and desires, including practicing sex work, as long as it aligns with existing laws and regulations. This relative freedom and the legal recognition of certain aspects of sex work are important steps forward and by no means a given in a global context.
FL: Do you have a role model?
LL: The committed and tireless work of Johanna Weber – both as an independent sex worker and a key political voice for the BesD (Professional Association for Erotic and Sexual Services) – deserves the highest recognition and respect. She is also a role model for me and for the community. Her ongoing efforts aim to openly address existing issues in sex work, develop constructive solutions, and sustainably improve working conditions for sex workers in Germany.
In her prominent role, she is not only a crucial advocate for the rights and concerns of sex workers but also an important and inspiring figure for our trans sex worker community. Her courage, determination, and unwavering commitment powerfully demonstrate that it is possible to stand confidently by one’s identity and profession while actively and effectively advocating for the rights and dignity of the entire profession.
FL: When you look back on your journey so far – what makes you feel particularly proud?
LL: From my own experience, I feel a deep sense of pride in my sex work in sex work. This profession has played a transformative role in my life, significantly contributing to strengthening my personality and building healthy self-confidence. Moreover, sex work has positively impacted my gender transition and helped me affirm and live my identity as a woman authentically. The experiences and challenges of this job have made me more resilient and self-assured.
For all these profound reasons, I feel immense gratitude toward sex work and the wide range of experiences and opportunities it has offered me over the years. I have now achieved a stable and recogniszed status in my self-employment, based on many years of continuous experience in sex work. I have been self-employed in this field since August 2010 and can now look back on a 15-year career. This consistency, the constant development of my skills, and the success of my self-employment are further meaningful reasons why I am proud of the work I do.
Over the years, I have had numerous encounters and dates with many interesting and remarkable men and people. Nevertheless, potential romantic relationships often failed because some individuals saw my work in sex work and/or my trans identity as a supposed or real disadvantage in a partnership. In some cases, I also got the impression that the initial interest stemmed more from curiosity about meeting a trans person rather than a genuine and lasting interest in a deeper, loving relationship.
But for me personally, mutual affection, trust, and love are essential foundations for a fulfilling, long-term partnership.
There were also repeated situations where an initial meeting took place, but a continued relationship didn’t develop because the potential partner had a strong and primary focus on wanting biological children. Since, due to my biology, I cannot have children, this often became an insurmountable obstacle for a shared future.
Additionally, the societal recognition of sex work and trans identity remains a complex and sometimes challenging issue. Although public opinion and the legal situation have thankfully and noticeably improved in recent years, prejudice and stigmatiszation are still present in certain parts of society. However, the introduction of the Self-Determination Act in Germany is a significant and encouraging step toward a more inclusive and fair society.
I’m optimistic and confident, though, that sooner or later – even in the future – there will no longer be any real disadvantages to meeting or building a loving, fulfilling relationship with a trans woman. I truly believe that the right man will eventually come into my life, someone who values and loves my personality, my experiences, and my life as a whole.
FL: Dating as a trans woman can sometimes be challenging. What experiences have you had in Berlin and Frankfurt?
LL: Interestingly, I’ve found that both of my home bases and work locations – Berlin and Frankfurt am Main – show a similar openness, acceptance, and dating opportunities for transgender people. Both cities seem to have a relatively progressive attitude in this regard.
Dating people is a lot of fun for me, and I encourage anyone to explore what they like for themselves.
FL: Are there specific platforms or communities where you feel especially comfortable when dating?
LL: Yes, great question! In the two cities I mentioned – Berlin and Frankfurt am Main – I’ve found that people generally show a remarkable openness and tolerance toward queer identities. There seems to be a genuine interest in getting to know trans and queer individuals and connecting with them.
This positive attitude makes it much easier in urban centers to meet people who are open to relationships or casual encounters. The anonymity and diversity of city life provide a broader pool of potential partners who may be less bound by traditional norms and expectations. That’s why I see big cities as a more fertile ground for dating as a trans woman.
However, actively getting to know people and dating does require time and personal resources – something I sometimes lack due to frequent business travel and commitments. Nonetheless, I generally experience dating as a trans woman as a positive and joyful experience. The authenticity I express is often appreciated and leads to interesting encounters.
I do need to go on more dates – but sometimes I just don’t have the time or energy because I’m often traveling for work. Still, dating as a trans woman brings joy and fun.
When I encounter rejection or someone tries to upset me, I’ve found a clear way of dealing with it: I consistently ignore that person and let them go emotionally. I see no point in investing energy in negative interactions. To me, the diversity of human personalities is a fact – everyone is unique in their experiences, values, and inner world.
To truly get to know someone and explore the possibility of a deeper relationship, it’s essential for me to first understand their personality on a deeper level. Superficial impressions or prejudices are no foundation for a real connection.
I really enjoy the atmosphere and sense of community in various queer – but also heterosexual – bars. I especially value the company of queer people, as I often feel a stronger sense of familiarity, better understanding, and a similar outlook on life. These places are not just meeting spots for me – they’re spaces where I can show up authentically and feel surrounded by like-minded people.
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